I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize