What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
