Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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