What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
