You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
