her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
