What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
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