walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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