I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
