I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
