I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
