I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
