DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He better not be in your backpack
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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