i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
