If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
