I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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