I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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