Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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