If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize