i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
