Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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