Hey man sorry I got all grabby
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
