Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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