Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
