The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
