Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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