i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
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