This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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