ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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