She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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