I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
