'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
