And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
