If that was your dad, he is hot
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
