no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
my shit smells like andre
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
