me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
