I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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