i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
