yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
