her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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