Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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