I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
