It's like a parade of train wrecks.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
