Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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