I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
false alarm, still single
Randomize
