Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
