sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
