We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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