Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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