I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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