i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
