is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
