good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Randomize
