He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
