I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
