K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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