I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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