I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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