just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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