i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
