oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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