just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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