have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
