just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
