Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize