They should really pass out barf bags in church
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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