so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
