So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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