I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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