I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Randomize
