im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize