Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I would ride that face into the sunset
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
