She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
