Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
