I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
