I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
