I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
