My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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