What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
