If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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