i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
